There is that feeling, when I dive REALLY deep, and the water is SO strong around me, it pushes and pushes me. Its everywhere, and I push against it, and aim for the surface… Chin up, eyes open, I can see the light, and terror fills me because I can’t breath down here, and yet, everything is ok, because I can see that light up there.

Then I burst through, and for a minute, I am that gorgeous girl in the movies, with my hair streaming back and a joy-smile exploding my face. The relief of breathing,  the joy of the sun hitting my wet body.  And it’s worth, it, right?

I climb out, scale the rope ladder, and I do it all over again, and again.

I am exactly like that right now.

Chin up, eyes open, light and terror beating in my heart. I feel the weight of the pressure all around me. I feel the opinions and the words and the accusations and the judgments that are trying to force the air out of me, trying to steal my breath and my life.

But they can’t. I am living life, I am diving deep. I will break through the surface. I will feel the sun on my face and I will keep breathing. Joy will light up my face and radiate from me, a reflection of the Divine,  am I. Arms of love will reach for me, shouts of joy will chase me to the ladder, and I’ll dive in again.

Deep Cries Out
by William Matthews

I’ve got a river of living water
A fountain that never will run dry
It’s an open Heaven You’re releasing
We will never be denied
‘Cause we’re stirring up deep deep wells
We’re stirring up deep deep waters
We’re gonna dance in the river
Dance in the river
‘Cause we’re stirring up deep deep wells
We’re stirring up deep deep waters
We’re gonna jump in the river